No Pressure, 2022

Hello, readers and a very Happy New Year to all of you!

(I know I’m the last out of the gate with this, but hey, fashionably late is how I roll.)

So, I feel like most of us can agree the last few years have hardly been the best. You know, globally. I daren’t even say, ‘I didn’t have a great year,’ because I fully expect to hear a roaring, ‘No shit, Strange!’ from the world in response.

I did actually have a few personal, non-COVID related grievances though. I mean, it’s still not a competition, but let’s just say I’m now the oldest living woman in my family at the tender age of 30-something.

Closer to 30. #justsayin.

Anyway, in a truly unique and unpredictable manner, I’m writing this post with the intention of discussing my plans for New Year and my hopes that it, and I, will be much improved.

Are we talking about resolutions, Strange? Yes, dear readers, I’m afraid we are. As well as general plans and ideas.

…still there? Anyone?

Well, for those of you still with me, let’s start with resolutions. When I was younger I used to make a list of like ten that never came to fruition. As I have grown wiser, (I think I mentioned I am the matriarch and therefore automatically the wisest woman in my family now) I make fewer, much more achievable goals. This years are as follows:

1) Eat healthier. No, seriously. Not like, eat less chocolate or whatever, I’m actually pretty healthy as it is, I’m just trying to level up. My rule of thumb is, if I can’t honestly say it’s good for me, it’s not going in my mouth. -Insert fellatio joke here.-

2) Learn a language. I love languages and I can make very polite observations in about five. For example, ‘Eyeh, Baka, ei-tai!’ Is ‘No, idiot. That hurts.’ In Japanese. Spelled phonetically lof course. But I’ve decided I need to finally be fluent in at least one.

3) Make significant progress to making writing my career and giving up my day job. That ones fairly self-explanatory. So long, London Underground!

And that’s it. Nothing too major. But all of it (barring maybe the language one,) is because 2021 taught me one thing above all else; my life isn’t of value to me as much as it is to my family. I owe it to them to live as long and as fully as I can so that my son is not left without his parents in his early-thirties.

In the short-term, I’m currently working on the third and final Sophisticated Beasts story, and it’s flowing easier than some of my previous stories already, which I feel must be a good sign. I’m working hard to apply the feedback I’ve gotten from last year, (particularly from Priscilla Bettis, a horror author who is far too talented and well-known to waste her time giving some newbie erotic author a full and thorough review for every book and yet always takes the time to, anyway. Do check out her new book, The Hay Bale, if you feel like being chilled to your bones!) to improve my writing as much as possible.

I’d love to know, readers, what are your resolutions or projects for the new year? Anything I can check out?

So, here’s to 2022. It literally can’t be worse than 2021, right? Right.

“Celebrate endings—for they precede new beginnings.” Jonathan Lockwood Huie coined that phrase, and the makers of the Matrix swear by it.

K M Strange: Myrrh Than Just a Pretty Face

Hello, everyone! I hope you’re all getting as excited for the festive season as I am.

I just got back from a friend’s wedding, the first adult gathering everyone in my family has attended since we all started having kids. It felt so great to be dressed up and dancing with my husband again.

The wonderful thing about having children is of course…everything. 😏

One of the drawbacks, however, is remembering who you are as an adult human being. Or, more specifically, learning who you are now that you have to be a parent as well as a person.

Being a mother has been incredible, you all know my feelings on this. But it’s been a while since my husband and I have had an extended period of time to be together and explore our more private selves.

But yesterday, I had a taste of that side of us again. My hair and make-up were done perfectly and I chose a dress that I knew would accentuate all my best assets. Did I feel good? Oh yeah. Did I look good? Damn straight. But I don’t make this much effort for me, I do it for him. I want my husband to look at me and be proud to have me on his arm. To know other men are looking at me and nodding their approval at him.

Mr Strange and I flirted, chatted, ate good food, drank champagne…and danced. The way that man holds me, moves me, touches me…it sets everything inside me on fire.

The wedding was held in a large, flint cabin and there was a point in the night where Mr Strange and I were in a balcony room with a log fire. I looked over and he was sitting on the sofa, leaning back with confident ease. To me, he looked every inch the warrior I married. Easily the most handsome and masculine man in the room. I went and knelt by him, in my floor-length dress and stilettos, resting my head on his lap. The cosy atmosphere of the room leant itself so that this gesture didn’t look out of place; just a couple getting cute by the fire. But to me, it was like coming home.

So, yeah, I’m a little blissed out (not to mention exhausted!) today. I feel like Cinderella after the ball. Except I came home with both of my sparkly shoes and I was in bed by 9.30pm. I’m in my thirties, okay? I do everything she did in a day, with a three-year-old strapped to my calf.

That’s the first reason for my elation. The second is: I finally did it! The Christmas book is out and available on Amazon. I agonised over the title for a while, but eventually, I decided that for a Christmas short, cheesy was acceptable. So, please hold your groans.

‘All I Want For Christmas Is You…And Him.’

Oh, yeah. I went there.

I’m pretty happy with how it came out. It’s got a little Christmas magic with a lot of debaucheries. I’ve even managed to squeeze in some genuine character growth. Is it Dickens? Nah. But is there some dickings? You bet.

Yup. I went there too.

Anyway, if you’re in the mood for a charming Christmas special from your girl Strange, it’s currently on offer here. As ever, I’d love to hear your thoughts and feedback.

Until next time, deck those halls, darlings!

Strange

Don’t stop now…I’m so close!

I can’t believe how long my Christmas story has taken me to write. This would be one of the biggest build-ups I’ve ever experienced, but it’s been more like an endless edging session.

My son has been unwell and, therefore, seriously grouchy lately. This has meant that I’m running on even less sleep than usual with pretty much no time to myself to write. This story has been written in tiny increments between toddler tantrums, usually with me daydreaming about getting a water spray bottle and giving the kid a little spritz every time he hits his cousins.

Still, I’ve finally managed to get the bare-bones done. I now need to review, edit and post, all hopefully before Easter.

When I have managed to get back into it, I’ve really enjoyed the story and the characters. I’m trying another new theme; a little MMF, why not? I usually base a lot of my content on my own experiences or fantasies, but this is actually not something I’ve really considered in great detail before.

If you’ve read my work, you’ll know I lean toward a fair amount of MFF scenarios, and that’s because I’ve been known to partake in such scenes in the past. I believe this is linked to my submissive nature. When I was a teen, I experimented with girls and, while I found the experiences beautiful and erotic, I never fell in love with any woman. When my now husband and I met, we engaged in intercourse with women together and I loved it, but this time, because I felt like I was elevating his experience.

I’m not saying this is the healthiest way of being, by the way, but it’s the way I am, and I like me just fine. 🙂

Anyway, the idea of being with another man literally makes me recoil, not because I don’t find other men attractive, I mean, you’ve seen Jason Mamoa, right? But because it would feel like an abomination against my submission to my husband.

However, in this story, the male partner has actually arranged the MMF threesome, and I must admit, I found the whole story far more arousing than I ever expected.

So, here’s my question to you, dear reader:

How to I effectively stop a three-year-old from being a jerk?

Just kidding. What I want to know is, have you ever engaged in a three way? What are your preferences?

Someone once said that three’s a crowd. I say, get a bigger bed.

Take care,

Strange

Is Christmas Sexy?

Don’t groan at me! My rule is that no one can even say the ‘C’ word (not that one!) in my house until after 5th November – Bonfire Night, for those of you who might not have heard of it. See V for Vendetta for a slightly pious retelling of the history.

But when you have kids, keeping the gentle chime of bells or the sparkle of colourful lights out of the home becomes a battle from late July. So, I allow myself to start at least planning my decor from 6th November, and actually putting up decor from the last week of.

Anyway, I do enjoy Christmas, especially now that I’m in charge. Well, I’m second in command to Mr Strange, but the main thing is it’s our house, our rules. I love all the things you would expect to love about Christmas, but I’m curious of those who love an entirely different aspect of it.

Last year, I posed the same question about the Santa Claus fetish, and I maintain that there is something about him. But, what about the holiday itself?

There are certainly some romantic aspects; sleigh rides in the snow, cuddling up with hot chocolate, snowflakes in the air. And I am 100% in for passionate sex atop a fur rug in front of a roaring fire. Of course, in my house it’s more like a quickie atop an old blanket in front of a radiator. I don’t have a mansion, I have an inquisitive and soft-footed 3-year-old.

I was sent an email containing advertising for Christmas themed lingerie and I felt very torn about it. (Not unlike how I expect the lingerie would feel after a short while, heheh.) On the one hand I was like, ‘Ha, who’s getting off on a woman in a red and white furry panty set?’ And on the other hand I was like, ‘…oh. Me.’

What about you, dear readers? Do you ache for a candy-cane between your lips? Do you beg to be the gift for someone to unwrap? Are you eager for a meaty stuffing?

I went too far with that last one. I knew it even as I wrote it.

Take care,

Strange

Don’t put me on the naughty list; I’m sorry for the stuffing crack.

Damn. Stuffing crack – I just can’t help myself.

A Note on Sexy Storytelling

Good morning world!

Strange here. Just had a little inspiration for some thoughts I’d like to share. I don’t often give advice on any platform where I can avoid it. This is for two reasons;

1) What the hell do I know? On a scale of the whole world who access the internet, I am certainly no scholar on any topic. Who am I to tell someone what to do?

2) Who needs the aggro? Most topics these days are considered highly controversial by someone. And I rarely care enough about any given topic to fight a passionate stranger over the web about it. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, of course, so I tend to just keep mine to myself.

However, I heard something today that made me chuckle, and also made me want to sit someone down for a quick ‘girls-chat.’ But since I don’t know her, I figured I’d just put this out into the world to see if it helps anyone.

So, a friend of mine received a voice message from friend with benefits, (for the sake of the post, we’ll call her Elle) detailing her saucy exploits at a BDSM club the night before. Let me tell you, the stuff she saw and did was hawt! I actually found myself becoming somewhat excited by content of what she was describing.

My friend on the other hand, was a little grossed out. Not because she doesn’t like what was being described, quite the contrary, but something about the recording just set her teeth on edge.

Now, being an erotic writer doesn’t give me claim to many occupational skills, but sexy story telling is definitely one of them. As I considered our different reactions, I started to realise what Elle had done wrong.

You see, Elle had sent this recording to my friend with the intention of getting her excited with her outrageous adventures, but she wanted to seem subtle and cool, as if my friends approval was a bonus but not necessary.

I get that, when you’re flirting with someone, you want them to be interested in you without seeming too bothered by it. The problem was, Elle tried to achieve this by telling the story as if she were doing stand up. For example, ‘So, I was at the club and I look over and Georgia is getting fingered by the barman! Hahaha. I don’t know if the bar will pass their next health inspection after that!’

…You see what I mean?

Now, anyone who has read my work will know I love lacing a little comedy into my stories, but you can’t have a punchline to a sexy scene. All it does is make the whole thing feel awkward and uncomfortable. If someone is cracking jokes at a time like that, it’s usually a good sign that they’re not hot for you. Sorry about it.

So, what I would like to say to Elle is this; if you’re telling a sexy story, then tell the sexy story. Commit to it, go all in. Let your voice become a little husky while you remember the way the barmans shoulders bulged while he thrust his fingers in and out of your friends wet pussy. Tell us how her moans of pleasure made you want to place your lips on hers and taste her gasps, to adsorb some of her ecstasy into you.

The sexiest thing in the world in confidence. If she had told that whole story with honest arousal in her voice, she’d have been getting an invite to dinner and drinks with Mr Strange and I. As it is, I don’t think Elle will be hearing from my friend anytime soon.

So there you have it folks, a few words of wisdom from a humble erotic writer.

As a side note, I’ve just finished the first draft of Beast of Backar 2, (Title still pending), I’m really excited about this ending, I’ve definitely gotten a little wrapped up in the drama of it all, but I think it worked. I’ve loved writing this story, and I’m sometimes surprised by the pleasure I still experience from writing. Every time I think, ‘God that was so fun, I’ll never love writing a story like a did that one!’ I fall in love all over again. It’s a wonderful feeling.

Also, I think I’ve accidentally invented a writing genre. A lot of the ideas I’ve been coming up with seem to include some kind of a murder or crime with the protagonists having to solve it. Is erotic-crime a thing? If not, patent-pending! 😆

Oh, one final thing. I think only the most expert of erotic storytellers can use the word ‘squirt’ and make it sexy. Note, you’ll never see it in any of my stories because I can’t pull it off. Elle used it at least four times. 🙄

It’s Autumn, Witches!

I know I’m a little late with this particular title. According to my kids season poster, by which I plan my year, Autumn started in September.

But I haven’t had time for blogging since then! I’ve been very busy wearing orange jumpers, drinking and eating pumpkin flavoured everything, and generally rolling around in leaves like Tinkerbell’s crazy cousin that no one talks about or invites to family events.

I’ve always believed that magic loves Autumn. Not just because I’m obsessed with Halloween, but the world just feels more magical at this time of year, doesn’t it? On a crisp, cool morning, I would swear you can smell the mysteries of the world in the air.

Aside from succumbing to my Autumn madness, I have actually been writing, (albeit with leaves and pine cones sticking out of my hair) and I’m pleased to say Beast of Backar 2 is half way finished.

There have been several aspects of this story that are a little new to me. I’ve been exploring some different themes in terms of relationships and trying to manage more characters than I usually have on a page at any one time.

I’m really enjoying it though, as always. My favourite part has been getting to know deeper layers to my characters, even delving into their darker sides!

The book should be edited and ready for release in about two weeks, stay tuned!

Creatures of the Cryptoeroticos: A Fantasmagoria of Erotic Tales is actually selling really well! And, I had a quiet release of an extended standalone version of one of its stories, The Price of Perfection.

Emily Bronte liked Autumn too, she said, ‘Every leaf speaks bliss to me, falling from an Autumn tree.’

This was just before I snatched the leaf from the air and ran away, gleefully screaming, ‘Imma make a collage!’

Strange and Bronte; Best friends and basically the same person.

Fantastic Beasts and How to Ride Them

So, first of all, can you believe Mr Strange wouldn’t allow me to use that as the title for my Halloween collection? Sometimes I feel like my creative genius is being totally smothered. 😒

So, the main stories for my collection are finally all written and mostly edited. This has been a fantastic summer in that regard, and I’ve actually learned some helpful tips! (Don’t get too excited, the dedicated authors among you will either already know this stuff, or be clever enough to see obvious pitfalls in my brand new game-changing discoveries…)

First, instead of writing a story and then editing it straight away, I’ve written several stories and then come back to them much later. This has been hugely beneficial because I’ve been able to reread the work with almost completely fresh eyes. Before, I would miss typos because I had the story so clear in my mind, I was reading what I knew should be there, not what was actually in front of me.

(Side note: It’s also been a real eye-opener to discover how short my memory retention actually is. Two weeks away from a piece of work and I’m like, ‘Wow, this is pretty good stuff. I didn’t see that ending coming at all!’)

Another interesting thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to be developing an MO of sorts with my writing. I took some time to look back over some of my older work during my editing time, and there were similarities to my newer stories that I hadn’t expected at all! (Remember the worrying retention thing?) I feel like I’m really building my identity as a writer, and actually becoming a more three-dimensional K M Strange. I find myself smiling at things I’ve written and being like, ‘Heh, classic!’

What’s really impactful to me about this, is that the dream of being a writer/stay at home mum is starting to feel more real. I want this to be who I am, not just something I do on the side, and as my bookshelf gets bigger, it seems so possible. I’m chugging along, and slowly but surely, I’m making it happen.

That said, I’m so grateful to my husband for his constant, unwavering support. And I’m endlessly thankful to everyone who has read any of my stories or blog posts, or left a comment or review. It may just seem like a small, ‘Eh, she’s not the worst author I’ve ever read, I’ll bang her 70p and a medium rating,’ thing to you, but to me, it’s life changing.

Anyhow, I didn’t mean to get all ‘real’ there. I’m just in a very happy head space I suppose. Must be Autumn. ☺️ Speaking of, the new Halloween collection that will not share the same title as this post is going to be released in a few weeks, so watch this space!

Amy Collette said, “Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.”

Sounds like another powerful catalyst I’m familiar with… 😏

Take care,

Strange

We’re Going Through Changes…

Truth be told, I do not love that song. If I had to choose though, like gun to my head, I’d probably listen to the Osbourne’s version over the original. Don’t judge me!

Quick disclaimer; this post is not really about writing, more an update/life musings post. If you’re not in the mood for that, feel free to close this and read a more relevant post. It’s cool, I feel ya.

Thank God you’re still here. I mean, I was playing it cool but honestly my self-esteem is entirely hinged on your continued interest in this post.

Aaaaanyway…lately I’ve had a lot of stuff go down. Real stuff. I mentioned a while ago that I lost a relative recently, I don’t want to go into details, but it was someone who I really feel like I needed more time with. I’ve been working through the ole’ grieving process with my usual grace and resilience (cut to me sobbing under bed while muffling my cries with cinnamon buns) but I’m learning a lot about myself as I go.

The biggest impact it’s had is that I’ve had to seriously reassess my self-image and understanding where I fit in this crazy world. As a result, I’ve been hella insecure lately. Which has made me massive amounts of fun to be around.

So far though, as I build this new chapter/version of myself I’ve found a few things: 1) I want to be a writer more than anything (career wise) and I’ve thrown myself into it as a result. My short story collection for Halloween is coming along at breakneck speed. 2) Being a mum was always at my core, but now I really understand the gravitas of the relationship for the child. There is no other job that could possibly compare. 3) I’m funny even when I’m sad. Ironic win.

So, there you have it. I’m slowly emerging as a new version of myself and I’m excited to see how it progresses. If any of you can relate, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Faraaz Kazi said, ‘No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief.’

Well, fuck you too Kazi. 😒

Take care,

Strange

A Work in Progress…again.

Hello, readers! How are we all?

So, I wanted to mention that things may be a bit quiet in the Strange warehouse at the moment, it’s going to be a little while before a new title is released.

Not that I’m not working on it…I am! But the last few months I wasn’t up to my best. I lost a family member in March, so I was busy grieving and organising the funeral etc, while also trying to write. The writing was a welcome distraction to be honest, but I realise now that it meant that some of what I released wasn’t up to my usual standard.

Anyway, I went back and re-edited some of my more recent titles to bring them up to scratch, and then I figured, in for a penny, in for a pound! So I’m now going back over my older work too, just to make sure everything is as good quality as possible.

That’s it, really. Not that I think you’re all out there watching your computers obsessively waiting for my next title, I just didn’t want you to think I’d faded in to the oblivion of lost writers. I did visit there once for a holiday, wouldn’t go back; the service was awful. Great food though…

Salvador Dali said, ‘Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.’

Well, ill show ewe Mr Dali!

Take care,

Strange

The Horror! The Sexy, Sexy Horror!

So, I’ve finally done it, I finished my sexy horror(ish) story! I say horror-ish because I don’t know if everyone would find it scary, but it’s definitely in that genre.

I did, of course, write a monster-inspired Halloween story last year, but that was a little more subtle, whereas this one is pretty on the nose.

I don’t want to give anything away, but I have to say I’m particularly invested in this one artistically speaking. It’s shorter than my other work, only around 9,000 words, and it was very much a labour of love. Usually, when I write my stories they’re based on things I have at least some experience in, and they’re written for particular audiences that I have a good understanding of.

This is none of those. Mr Strange mentioned the idea, as he’s a huge horror fan, and even suggested a structure. At first, I wasn’t sure, but as I started writing, I found myself just loving the whole story and going completely off the structure I was planning on. Much to Mr Strange’s dismay.

In truth, I’ve always liked this theme, you know, in a sexy way, but it’s not my main fantasy go-to. It’s more like a special-occasion when I’m in that-kind-of-mood-fantasy. Still, it never occurred to me to write it, but as soon as I did, I was enthralled by the idea.

The end result is that I have a story that I love and that was super exciting for me to write, but I have no idea how it will translate for readers. BSDM enthusiasts may be left bewildered, horror fans may be underwhelmed, who knows?

The story also tested my technical skills too. There are a lot of scenes that shift between reality and fantasy, and though I understand it, I’ll be interested to see if the flow from one to other will work for readers.

So, if that fantastic sales-pitch hasn’t left you itching to download my latest work, I don’t know what will! It’s called ‘Unravelled’ and it should be available on Amazon any minute now. Damned delays.

H.P Lovecraft said, ‘I fear my enthusiasm flags when real work is expected of me.’ I feel like he and I may have been kindred spirits…