No Place for a Woman

Ooooh, it’s getting a little risqué up in here!

Except, not really. This post is actually just going to be my musings on where I fit as a woman in today’s changing world.

I was a child of the 90’s, so I was very much raised by the Spice Girls in the heat of the ‘Girl Power’ movement. It was a great time to be female, I was told I could do anything I wanted when I grew up, and I couldn’t wait to do exactly that!

…Exactly what, exactly?

Good question. I didn’t know what I wanted to do at nine years old (well I did, I wanted to be a Spice Girl, but that’s besides the point). Fast forward ten years and I was on my way to university to be a journalist.

Fast forward five years from there and I was doing something entirely different. Turns out, no one is paying for journalists these days. But that was news to me! (See what I did there?)

Anyway, I ended up doing a job I enjoy, and I’m now married, as many of you know, with a two-year-old son I adore.

So, here’s the big question- did I do what I wanted to do? Is that what I’m doing now? The answer is: sort of. My family and my home are the best things in my world and I’m so incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful husband and stunning little boy.

The question mark is over my career. One of the reasons I started writing is so that I would hopefully make enough money so that I could dedicate myself to being a stay at home mum and wife while still bringing in enough money to support my family a bit.

I know, I know; a stay at home wife? Say whaaat? But the truth is, that’s what I want to do. I want to be with my son, I want to make a home for my family that’s always changing, smells like baking bread etc.

I should clarify, I have the utmost respect for working mums, hell, I am one. I’m not saying this is what people should be doing, I’m just saying it’s what I want to do.

So, I’ve been researching a lot of these women who identify with the housewife lifestyle, and I’ve found something quite interesting. I don’t think I fit there. Or anywhere, actually.

A lot of feminists I come across don’t necessarily like my work because of how erotica is all about sexualising women (and men of course, but they don’t tend to complain as much). And the more traditional housewives seem to value the more demure and chaste demeanour. So, also not super kinky-wife friendly.

So, my question to you, dear readers, is where do people like me fit? What are your thoughts? And do you also feel a little out of place in this world? If so, come to my party, we’ve got apple pies and strap ons for everyone!

And as food for thought; if the shoe fits, wear it. Same goes for gimp masks.

My New Boss

So, since my first story (Devoted) went up for sale and I started my new one (The Wife and the Call Girl) I’ve acquired a brand new boss – my husband.

Mr Strange has assumed the role of my editor and has very much enjoyed cracking the whip in a whole new way. 

I’ve found it a very interesting experience having him being in charge of my writing. He’s been very strict in enforcing deadlines and making sure I don’t deviate from my task. None of this has been intended in any kind of sexual way, and yet…

I suppose because of our personal dynamic mixed with the content of my stories, it’s hard not get the lines blurred. I’m finding I respond *very* positively to his guidance in this area, even when I’m a little frustrated at being bossed around. I’m a creative type! We do not deal well with rules. 

That said, this unprecedented development has certainly helped to keep me in the right mindset for writing. When you start writing erotica as a way of making an income, it inevitably becomes more of a job than a creative outlet. Luckily, having Mr S assert his authority while I’m working makes me feel like I’m part of my own scene, a story in a story. Ugh, I’m getting a little meta now.

I elude in my work that sub space can almost be a kind of blissful trance, where you stop thinking rationally and allow your arousal to dictate your actions. It’s a wonderful state to be in and it’s a very strange sensation to be gently teased by it in my day-to-day life. It’s definitely fuelling the erotic tone of my writing.

I may have to devise ways to explore this sensation further with Mr Strange – can this new dynamic improve my writing? And how far can I go before I’m just licking my keyboard? 

In the meantime, The Wife and the Call Girl is now available on Amazon. Check it out and let me know what you think! I’d love to hear your ideas and feedback.