Okay readers, let’s settle this once and for all- is Santa sexy?
I mean, I’m obviously hoping he is, since my Christmas short is largely based on that idea. But, is St Nick really just a sweet old man who leaves presents for good girls and boys? Or is he the ultimate symbol of ‘giving’ for us perverts?
Now, I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve got Daddy issues, (remember the sketchy parenting?) and it’s true, I’m partial to an older man as a result. But it’s only as I’ve grown into an adult that I’ve developed a kind of crush on Santa Claus. Which, as I’m writing this, I realise is the only sane option as a child version of me sitting on the lap of my 70-year-old crush, is all kinds of not okay.
Anyway, I don’t know if it’s the security and the experience of an older man, the idea that Santa is magic and can therefore, in theory, perform all kinds of miracles in the bedroom, or simply the idea of taking the art of ‘gift giving’ and perverting it into something naughty.
Maybe it’s just all the Baileys.
But there’s just something about Santa that l don’t know.
My husband and I have enjoyed a Mr/Mrs Claus fantasy in the past with very positive results, though he looks more like Santa’s well-built, slightly roguish son. And I’m sure if you asked him, he’d say I was more like Mrs Claus’ unbelievably hot granddaughter. If he knows what’s good for him.
There’s a dark side of me that suspects I would enjoy a kind of BDSM Father Christmas scene. You know what I’m talking about- put over his lap for being naughty? Yeah. I can get behind that.
So tell me, dear readers, do you have a secret Santa fantasy? And if so, please share it with us!
Until then, remember, if you don’t believe, you won’t receive. And the same is true if you don’t put out, but that didn’t rhyme.