Go On, Spoil Yourself!

It’s that time of year, after all. The time for giving and receiving, drinking and eating. And let’s not forget, all that fornicating under the mistletoe!

But is anyone’s Christmas really so picturesque? I’m no Grinch, really! But to be honest, I get a little frustrated with the high expectations that come along with Christmas sometimes.

I have a two-year-old son and that is the best thing about Christmas for me now. I love the hype and the songs and the stories. I love the glow of wonder on his face when he sees his whole street alight with neon, and hearing him humming jingle bells to himself at full volume in the middle of the night. 

Up until he was born though? Let’s just say my family weren’t exactly the ones they base Hallmark cards on. Imagine the Simpsons crossed with the original cast of Shameless. Traditional and festive? Not really. Drunk and hilarious? I don’t remember, so I assume so. We did the thing, ate the food, swapped gifts, drew funny faces on sleeping Grandad, etc. 

But come the evening, I liked nothing better than curling up with a good book. And when I say good, I obviously mean sexy. I don’t know why, I always found it especially exciting to be doing something naughty the second that Santa wasn’t updating the list. Like wearing nothing but lingerie under a long coat out in public. Innocent, as long as you don’t get caught.

With that in mind, my newest story, ‘Spoiled,’ is now available on Amazon. You know, to keep the season kinky.

Remember readers, tis the season of giving… yourself a secret orgasm while everyone else is gorging on Christmas pudding. 

Spoiled is available here

Happy Holidays! 

There’s Something About Santa

Okay readers, let’s settle this once and for all- is Santa sexy? 

I mean, I’m obviously hoping he is, since my Christmas short is largely based on that idea. But, is St Nick really just a sweet old man who leaves presents for good girls and boys? Or is he the ultimate symbol of ‘giving’ for us perverts? 

Now, I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve got Daddy issues, (remember the sketchy parenting?) and it’s true, I’m partial to an older man as a result. But it’s only as I’ve grown into an adult that I’ve developed a kind of crush on Santa Claus. Which, as I’m writing this, I realise is the only sane option as a child version of me sitting on the lap of my 70-year-old crush, is all kinds of not okay. 

Anyway, I don’t know if it’s the security and the experience of an older man, the idea that Santa is magic and can therefore, in theory, perform all kinds of miracles in the bedroom, or simply the idea of taking the art of ‘gift giving’ and perverting it into something naughty. 

Maybe it’s just all the Baileys. 

But there’s just something about Santa that l don’t know. 

My husband and I have enjoyed a Mr/Mrs Claus fantasy in the past with very positive results, though he looks more like Santa’s well-built, slightly roguish son. And I’m sure if you asked him, he’d say I was more like Mrs Claus’ unbelievably hot granddaughter. If he knows what’s good for him.

There’s a dark side of me that suspects I would enjoy a kind of BDSM Father Christmas scene. You know what I’m talking about- put over his lap for being naughty? Yeah. I can get behind that.

So tell me, dear readers, do you have a secret Santa fantasy? And if so, please share it with us! 

Until then, remember, if you don’t believe, you won’t receive. And the same is true if you don’t put out, but that didn’t rhyme.