Okay readers, let’s settle this once and for all- is Santa sexy?
I mean, I’m obviously hoping he is, since my Christmas short is largely based on that idea. But, is St Nick really just a sweet old man who leaves presents for good girls and boys? Or is he the ultimate symbol of ‘giving’ for us perverts?
Now, I’ll be the first one to admit that I’ve got Daddy issues, (remember the sketchy parenting?) and it’s true, I’m partial to an older man as a result. But it’s only as I’ve grown into an adult that I’ve developed a kind of crush on Santa Claus. Which, as I’m writing this, I realise is the only sane option as a child version of me sitting on the lap of my 70-year-old crush, is all kinds of not okay.
Anyway, I don’t know if it’s the security and the experience of an older man, the idea that Santa is magic and can therefore, in theory, perform all kinds of miracles in the bedroom, or simply the idea of taking the art of ‘gift giving’ and perverting it into something naughty.
Maybe it’s just all the Baileys.
But there’s just something about Santa that l don’t know.
My husband and I have enjoyed a Mr/Mrs Claus fantasy in the past with very positive results, though he looks more like Santa’s well-built, slightly roguish son. And I’m sure if you asked him, he’d say I was more like Mrs Claus’ unbelievably hot granddaughter. If he knows what’s good for him.
There’s a dark side of me that suspects I would enjoy a kind of BDSM Father Christmas scene. You know what I’m talking about- put over his lap for being naughty? Yeah. I can get behind that.
So tell me, dear readers, do you have a secret Santa fantasy? And if so, please share it with us!
Until then, remember, if you don’t believe, you won’t receive. And the same is true if you don’t put out, but that didn’t rhyme.
That’s right readers, today’s post is about big…well, maybe medium sized, reveals. First, my new book cover, and then just me revealing just a little about, well… me. So snuggle up and let’s get some sweet nothings whispered.
So, this is the cover Mr Strange and I have chosen for the paperback book that’s going on sale in a few weeks. I’d love to know your thoughts! I must admit I’m almost as nervous as I am excited- I’m publishing a real book! It’s the sort of thing I’ve dreamed of since I was a teenager, but never imagined I’d actually do. Now that the time is almost upon me, I feel a little vulnerable; when you put your art out there, it’s open to whatever criticism the world wants to throw at you. It’s one thing to say, ‘oh, I think I can string a sexy story together,’ and an entirely different thing to say, ‘I think I’m worth paying for.’ Though I would 100% back that statement for some of my skills…I also design tattoos in my real life.
Why? What did you think I meant?
Anyway, I feel like I’m ready to put myself out there. As I’ve said before, if nothing else, there will be a book on my shelf that my son will never be allowed to read, and a book on my parents shelf that they will never bring themselves to open. And if that’s not a Christmas miracle, I don’t know what is.
As for me, I’m starting to find it tricky to segment the writer persona and my usual alter-ego these days. Which is mad because I’ve only really been immersed fully in my writing for a few months. But already, I’m finding I can be a more authentic version of myself when I’m K. M. Strange. I can be more honest, expressive, and, if we’re all being truthful, a little cheesy at times, and that’s fine. I don’t need to worry about being shamed or cast out by the people in my professional life for (God forbid!) talking about sex.
The truth is, I think physical connection is so important for human beings. It helps us translate our emotions and express them in a way that is so raw and genuine, words could never really match it. I fear, at times, in a society that is so desperate to free women from being oppressed by their sexuality, we are at risk of condemning ourselves to pretend it doesn’t exist. Or that we don’t care about it. I tend to keep my views on such areas to myself, I believe whole-heartedly in the expression, ‘You do you, and I’ll do me,’ (In every interpretation.) But I can honestly say, I love my body and my sensuality, and I love that my husband loves it too. I am a sensual, sexual being, and I am very happy with that.
But, hey, that’s just me.
I’m also intrigued to see how this new-found freedom is helping me develop as a person in other areas too. Since becoming a mum, I’m much more proactive in the house. My upbringing was sketchy to say the least. I mean it’s all okay, I turned out fine! (Where did I leave that ball gag?) But I really want my son to grow up with a happy, attentive mum in a warm and welcoming home. So, I’m finding myself baking, decorating for seasons, I even watch home-maker YouTube-ers like Brianna K religiously. (She’s adorable!)
Since becoming an author, I have more of a sense of self and where I used to feel a bit silly about having different cushion covers for different seasons etc, I now have the confidence to act exactly how I feel, regardless of eye-rolls or patronising sighs.
I’ve also started to be more giving in the bedroom. Not that Mr Strange and I are lacking, far from it! But sometimes he’s so forthcoming that I take it for granted. So, last weekend I made sure I dedicated almost an hour to just being present for him and his manhood. It was such a liberating and almost meditative experience – I actually enjoyed it as much as he did, and I can’t wait to do it again.
So, there you have it folks. K M Strange: Erotic Author, Adoring Home-Maker and Raging Cock-Slut.
Huh. That’s catchy, I might add it to my resume.
Until next time, I leave you with this:
‘You cannot wear every expectation, consider setting aside the ones that don’t fit.’ – Bozeman Zawisz
‘Or consider using a smaller plug and building up until it’s comfortable.’ – K M Strange
Remember that edge I was so close to? Well, readers, it was ruined. Ruined!
Just as I was about to get there, you know, when you’re breathless with excitement? When your toes are curling because you know something wonderful is about to happen? That was me. And then Amazon pulled out before I was done…
By that, of course, I mean that Amazon pulled my story down from my page. Apparently there was some kind of glitch and the story appeared on some sites and not others. Leaving me empty and disappointed.
To make up for this underwhelming performance, I’ve re-uploaded the story on a limited time offer- free for five days! So, if you tried to download it and were unsuccessful- please go ahead and have a good time on me. (Not like, *on* me, of course… Well, you get my meaning.)
So, as the old saying goes, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! You can now download Office Submissive here for free until Monday 16th November 2020.
And as always, any feedback is greatly welcomed so feel free to leave me a review on Amazon or Goodreads! Or drop me a message on this site.
Linkin Park, anyone? What, you thought I was being filthy? Get your mind out of the gutter, people!
Now, on to the topic of today’s post: anal. That’s right, I’ve just completed my most recent short story, ‘Office Submission,’ which features an office D/s relationship, complete with my first ever depiction of anal sex.
‘So, what?’ I hear you ask, ‘you’re an erotic author/comedy genius, surely a cock-suppository is right up your…avenue.’
What an elegantly worded point, dear readers. But actually, I’ve never written such a scene before. Not because I’m adverse, far from it. It’s just never come up before, and it was a very enlightening experience. Once again, I’ve been forced to consider my own experiences in such depth (I’m genuinely not doing this on purpose) that I’m able to describe it in great detail. Reading it back, I was actually quite pleased with the description, if you read it, I’d love to know your thoughts!
The other reason this is so exciting for me, is because I’m now just one last short story away from publishing the paperback book! And that will be included as a special extra, written just as a treat for the book-readers.
In other news, I’m starting to get my head around navigating Twitter, which has been interesting. The best thing about having an account has been finding like-minded people and seeing what they’re putting out into the world. I’m loving getting to know you all!
Well, that’s all for now. Remember, when it comes to trying something new in the bedroom; ‘success is not final, failure is not fatal, it’s the courage to continue that counts.’ Winston Churchill said that. You can’t prove he wasn’t talking about sodomy.
This is a weird time of year for my little family unit; the darkening period between Halloween and Christmas. So, Novemeber I guess. See, Mr Strange loves Halloween, they’re like Jack and Sally, or Tim Burton and his wife, Danny Elfman.
Mr Strange is also obsessed with Christmas, he takes both of these holiday’s very seriously. As do I, it should be noted, I love any excuse to get dressed up, eat sweets and decorate my house. Especially since we now have a two-year-old who matches our excitement ten-fold. I don’t think any woman in history has welled up as much as I at hearing the words, ‘My Mum’s a witch!’
But November tends to be the slump in between. Largely because Mr Strange doesn’t take November 5th as seriously as I do. I love fireworks! And bonfires! And nigthtime shinanegans! This helps bridge the gap between the Witches New Year and the Consumers Binge Party for me quite nicely. It would be impossible to ignore the connection between Bonfire Night and my own creative tastes. Surely, there is no more accurate comparison for an orgasm than literal fireworks? Has the metaphor not been done to death because of it’s very visual similairties to the feeling of copulating? So, I’m currently trying to ressurect 5th November in my household which is quite difficult since the UK has just plummetted into yet another lockdown. Let me know what/if you’re doing anything for the event! We’re watching a lot of fireworks on TV and maybe I’ll let my son play with some matches.
Just kidding. Mr Strange hides the matches from me.
In the meantime, I’ve started to expand my online presence somewhat, I’ve just joined Twitter and already have 5 followers! *Fist pumps the air.* In all seriousness, I’m truly grateful for all of the support I’ve had from my readers so far. Everytime someone follows me, rates my books or leaves me a comment, it’s exactly the driving force I need to keep going. So thanks so much to all of you! You validate me. 😀
Speaking of, I’m about halfway through my new short story, ‘Name Pending.’ It’s an office story with strong D/s themes, (what?!) with an underlying romance and it’s heavily based on the tv sitcom ‘Full House.’
It’s not actually based on ‘The Office’ either by the way. It’s actually based (setting-wise anyway) on my own time working for a recruitment agency. I spent alot of time in London as a teenager too which has helped shape the descriptons. The interactions are all products of my filthy mind, I’m afraid most office’s are woefully boring. Though it should be noted that I was working in a family run firm so, yeah, maybe my options were a little thinner than some. It was my family. I did have sex in an office once, though, on top of a phone shop. I’m pretty sure they based that sitcom on me.
Anyway, I hope your November is as sizzling as mine. Remember, only you can prevent bush fires. Trim regularly.
Someone once said, if you can’t find a book you want to read, write it! I don’t know that they were expecting me to start detailing the sexual adventures of my promiscuous characters, but hey-ho.
So, what does that have to do with anything? I’m so glad you asked! Mr Strange and I are currently debating the cover of…my first actual paper copy book! I know, right?! It’s going to be a collection of my short stories so far plus an extra, bonus, never before published erotic short.
I suppose it might seem like an obvious step for most writers but this has been a very long time coming for me, in ways I didn’t even realise before. I actually started writing erotica when I was about 18. It was terrible, obviously, but I was just having some fun with a genre I enjoyed reading. I dabbled with a few chapters, but inevitably my budding talent ended up falling to the wayside as my journey in to adulthood progressed. In the end, I mostly practised by writing sexy texts to Mr Strange.
It was he who recently decided he’d had enough of watching my invaluable (if somewhat nieche) talent be wasted, and demanded I assault the innocent public with it. I never expected to sell much, I always said if even just one person enjoys my writing, it was worth putting it out there. Leaving myself vulnerable to the opinions of a potentially harsh and unforgiving public. Who actually turned out to be very nice perverts, like me!
And now, just six months later, I’m designing a cover for my first real book. And, my feelings still haven’t changed- if even just one person likes my work enough to purchase it and have it on their shelf, I’ll be so delighted. Obviously that’s not counting the family members who will receive a copy for Christmas. I’m sure Mum will be thrilled.
So, watch this space, readers! The K M Strange Collection is on it’s way to Amazon and Kindle. Treat yourself or your friends (with a good sense of humour).
I know, I know; another very old reference. I mean, I think that song came out in the sixties, waaaaay before my time. But I have very positive connotations with that song. As a child, I remember seeing the video on TV and it was the first time I remember seeing adults doing something silly without actually pitching it towards kids. I realised then that October 31st was a time when adults and kids alike could play dress up and have a good laugh together. That was when I fell in love with Halloween.
It was with this in mind that I lovingly named my latest story after that song, albeit changing the pronoun a little. She Did the Monster Mash is my latest release on Amazon and features the various exploits of one woman as she traverses the ‘horrors’ of Halloween. This is largely based on my own impression of the ancient celebration- many cultures agree that this is the time when they veil between worlds is at its thinnest, connecting us with the creatures from beyond. Anything is possible. As a teenager, I spent many an October night wandering around my hometown, observing the festivities and inviting the mysterious to come and say ‘hello.’ I was an arty kid, okay? I didn’t get invited to many parties.
This story depicts the sort of stuff I suppose I was hoping to come across on some level, and it was a great experience getting to live out my own haunting fantasies through my writing. And a fang-tastic time was had by all! Oh yeah. I went there. HALLOWEEN!
So, if you get time between pumpkin carving, apple bobbing, and skimpy costume wearing, give my chilling tale a try. *Skimpy costume not mandatory but highly encouraged.*
Got your attention, huh? I thought it might. Perverts 😏
I just finished writing my newest story – Sibling Seduction, which is about, you guessed it, sort-of incest.
Who knew this was such a popular topic? I mean, I’ve definitely fancied a few brothers in my time, they were just my friends’ older brothers. And I was their sisters’ weird friend who breathed a little too hard outside their bedroom doors.
But after writing a story based on two step-siblings exploring their passion for each other, I have to say I kind of get it now.
I’ve always been something of a brat- you tell me I can’t have something, I’ll just wait outside his bedroom door until he finds my raspy breathing adorable. And the whole step-brother/sister thing is very much is the forbidden fruit vein. The fact that my characters secretly fancied each other despite being told by their parents that it wasn’t okay, was pretty freaking hot.
My favourite thing about writing erotica has been having the opportunity to explore different kinks, and Sibling Seduction has been my biggest exploration yet.
So, if siblings are your thing, don’t waste your weekends grinding up against your friends’ brothers legs. Indulge your fantasy with my newest tale.
Alternatively, wait until they go out for the night, then steal a pair of their boxers. That works too.
So, I just finished writing my newest short; Boom and Bust, and I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this story. Not just in the way one would hope to enjoy an erotica story, but actually because I was having fun with my characters.
I know I say this a lot, but I genuinely never know exactly how my stories are going to turn out when I start writing them. This bad boy was only supposed to be about 10,000 words, and it ended up being nearly double that!
As well as having plenty of sexy encounters, the characters all ended up getting to know each other and even themselves, forming new and powerful relationships. I mean, beyond the standard relationship between a group of drunk guys and a pair of busty girls.
I even grew attached to the group of guys I created. My focus is usually on the female protagonists but writing the banter between the boys gave me real sense of kinship with them.
However, as always writing this story has made me take a close look at myself and forced me to ask some hard questions. So here goes, deep breath…are my references outdated?! The feedback from my focus group (Mr Strange) suggested that the examples I used to help visualisation of the characters wouldn’t be recognisable today. Am I the only person in their thirties who knows Jessica Rabbit and Betty Boop?
I’m no poser, I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I have never once seen a Betty Boop cartoon. I have literally no idea what her storyline is, except her little catch phrase and the fact that she’s curvy AF. But if you said to me, ‘She looks like Betty Boop,’ I’d be all, ‘not really, she’s in colour.’
And surely EVERYONE knows Jessica Rabbit? Again, the film where she made her big screen debut was shot before I was born, but I still saw it. Didn’t everyone?
…it’s because she’s not on YouTube isn’t it? Maybe Jessica and Betty need to get a YouTube channel.
So, if like me, you’re a child of the 90’s piggybacking the prestige of 80’s media, I hope you’ll give my story a read. Otherwise, quickly google those characters so you have a point of reference, then give my story a read. Maybe also look up Bay Watch. No, not the one with Dwayne Johnson…
Yay! I’m so excited to say that Bound has been submitted to the editors at Amazon and should be released for purchase any day now.
Writing the second book in this series was certainly an interesting experience. The first book had roots in some of my own experiences and in some ways it almost wrote itself because of that. With Bound I had the opportunity to really get to know some of the other characters in the series and experience new things with them.
All my stories so far have had a running theme of Dominance and submission, which, as they say, is probably more telling of the author than the characters. I love exploring this particular dynamic from various angles as it’s something that I find fascinating and enjoyable. The fun thing about writing stories, however, is that I’m forced to explore whole new ideas and experiences in order to write them. My research has so far been enlightening to say the least!
In case you’ve already read the first book, Devoted, I should explain that Bound runs alongside and even slightly before (rather than after) the first one, giving a different view point on the events that occur.
If you’re now screaming at your screen- ‘No! I wanted to know more about the ending of the first one!’ Don’t panic! There are more clues in Bound to add to your theories from GOE 1.
As ever, if you do end up reading my stories, please let me know what you think! I’m always interested in what people enjoy and learning ways I can develop my writing.
Remember, live every moment to the fullest. But, when you can’t do that because you’re like, waiting for a bus or whatever, maybe read some erotica instead.